The path along the journey

It has been a while since I’ve laid things out on the table. I’m not talking about cards I’m talking purpose. In my last blogs I wrote about my seizures returning after the drs removing part of one of my lobes. It might sound nonchalant but that’s how I have gotten through these last 17 years. At times the path has felt as though I’ve walked through a tornado, flooding, quick sand, hail, and many feet of snow but one thing has carried me through this obstacle course it is Humor!

For the last 4-5 months I have been attending a support group for epilepsy. Everyone I have met has a story and what I got out of these meetings is so much more than support. I now have a better understanding of what everyone around me is feeling. People call us warriors those of us that live with epilepsy. I have met and heard the stories of parents, children, and spouses of epileptics that attend our meetings they are the true warriors. As I continue through this jouney the realization is I am not the only one fighting this beast. It is challenging many times to throw my pride aside and ask and allow my family to help. For the longest time until actually at this moment to ask and allow my kids to help. It should be the other way around.

However the demographics of my area lacks many things good medical care and other resources. The way my daughter drives it takes an hours to get to our support group. The way a normal person drives it would take them a good hour and a half. The path to my journey might be longer than anticipated but I truly believe my path is to help other adults like myself and be able to provide information that I have learned through this.

For instance surgery is not guaranteed to fix my brain it just somewhat improved the frequency of my seizures. It also brought out so many mixed emotions. Just as I thought I was cured the seizures came back so did more medication. The medication never went away just more was added along with more testing.

I think of it as this is my journey it is tough, it has been frustrating, and at times unbearable but all this is the walking path. I was told this last hospital visit I would never be seizure free but all I want is to wake up feeling great and being able to pay it forward. If I can help and provide the emotional and informative support that I have received then I am fulfilling my journey. In April my epilepsy support group will begin in my area. It is much needed here.

Everything happens for a reason smile through it good, bad, or indifferent keep smiling and just push forward. I guess it’s easy for me to say because this is my everyday struggle but if you are not living it don’t tell someone this you might not get a good reaction.

As I say this I will keep pushing through this next set of testing and possibly another surgery but I will never stop smiling, laughing, and pushing along this path.

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